I love arts and crafts. I am an avid scrapbooker and break out my coloring books when I am feeling stressed. I love crafts so much that I was put on scissor probation in pre-school because I cut up my parents’ comforter with my little pair of Fiskars- I just couldn’t help expressing myself artistically.
One of my favorite surgical residents at the hospital described changing the wafers and bags to my stomas as “arts and crafts time.” As I mentioned, I love arts and crafts. I recall various arts and crafts I have completed throughout my 23 years. Some of these were enjoyable, while others were more frustrating and not fun at all. One thing all of my prior artistic projects had in common: They never involved feces.
While stoma care does involve cutting wafers and applying glue-like substances to your appliances, so they stick to your stomach and contain your output, it is not fun and, thus, should not be defined as arts and crafts.
I am forced to change my stoma dressings every three to six days. Usually I just wait until they start leaking to change them. This is how much I dread the process. Typically, stoma appliances hold up pretty well and are even waterproof, so you can shower with them on (provided you use a hair dryer to dry them off afterwards). I have a gaping hole in between my two stomas, however (one of the stomas is temporary and the other is permanent). This hole makes it hard for the appliances to stay on, so mine leak every few days.
Both of my stomas started leaking this morning. Frustrated, I pulled the wafers off my skin. I use adhesive spray to make the wafers stick longer, but that makes it hard to get them off when I don’t need them on anymore. It basically hurts like a bitch. Sometimes I even cry as I pull them off. Once the wafers are off, there is usually a sticky residue on my skin where they were. Usually I use a wet washcloth to get as much off as possible. Today I got in the shower and just showered without any appliances on my skin. I won’t lie, it felt pretty nice even though feces was being emitted from my left stoma the whole time.
I then carried all my supplies into my bedroom and laid down on my floor to start dressing my stomas and my incisions. It usually takes me a long time to do this mainly because I shower and change my dressings after I eat breakfast. In the future I will probably change this habit. With feces pouring out of my stomach, I quickly measured the stoma and used my stencil to cut the wafer to the correct size. (See, this does sound a little like craft time) I sprayed my wafer with adhesive spray and then prepped my skin with a powder to help with irritation and wipe to create a barrier between the skin and the adhesives. As usual, I went to affix the wafer to my skin and feces shot out of my stoma. I had to clean the area and try again. I finally got the wafer on… and realized I put the wrong wafer on the stoma (my stomas are unique and each gets its own type of wafer). *sigh* I pulled off the wafer and started the whole process over again.
Once that was done, I dressed my other stoma. Then comes the waiting period. I have been told that if I lay flat for at least twenty minutes, my stoma appliances are more likely to stick to the skin for longer. I usually find ways to occupy myself. I have mastered putting dressings on my incisions—so I did that quickly and called it a morning. (By then of course it was past lunch time, so I got food and hooked myself up to my IV pole to receive a liter of saline fluids). Medical time for the day completed!
Stomas aren’t super pretty. They really look like giant sores protruding from my stomach. Giant sores that emit poop. Everyone else emits poop from their anus…and that’s not super pretty in my opinion either. I usually like to simply put my appliances on and hide my stomas and bags. It’s not like I am in denial…I know they’re there and I accept them, but I don’t like to stare at them either. I often wear leggings and longer shirts/short dresses (I am so lucky these are in fashion now) to hide my bags without squishing them. I have yet to master jeans, but I am sure I will.
My favorite stoma story thus far involves looking at my stomas. I was discussing my stomach with a male friend. Horny, as usual, he made a suggestive comment. I informed him he wouldn’t want to act on his suggestion due to the intestines sticking out of my stomach that emit feces. He was somewhat speechless, so I explained that I had a wrap that I could wear to hide my stomas and bags. (www.ostomysecrets.com –such a great idea and site). “Good,” he replied. “As long as I don’t have to see them, I can deal with it.” I decided right then that if I was to ever be intimate with or date a guy, he would have to do more than deal with it… like me, he would have to accept it. He would have to embrace it. I would not expect him to stare at them, but he sure as hell better not be grossed out by them. Yes, they do produce feces…but so does your asshole.
Later, I discussed this with a close girlfriend. Her response was memorable and made me smile. It was horribly gross, but it made me smile. “Deal with it?! Jeez. It’s not like you asked him to blow your stoma!” No, I did not. It grosses me out to think about that. Who would think about that? Who would do that? …Then again, there are people who are into anal play…
That’s not my sort of thing. I prefer arts and crafts…
The canvas for my arts and crafts. Luckily, things are starting to heal up. :)
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